Geekery

So far I have found my new automobile GPS to be quite handy – simply place it on the dashboard and follow the GPS.Perfect. On a more serious note, I found it rather reassuring that I could opt for voice directions from a male or female in my choice of languages that I did not understand. Being a bit of a wierdo I selected Mistress Olga from Latvia – I have no idea what she is saying but I am not about to argue with her. No, no, no.

So now I can blast down the highway, safe in the knowledge that my GPS knows how far it is to Circle Drive in Beacon Hill Park and is quite capable of telling me how to get there, where the gas stations are and what the price of gas is. No kidding – that’s a handy feature as are the constantly updated traffic advisories and the ability to drive around toll roads. If only I understood Latvian.

On a slightly different note, please feel free to be in awe of my beautiful hair put up in a pony tail. Jealousy is such a waste of time but it is understandable…

Ottawa oddities

A few interesting bits from our nation’s capital city.

First we have the Walking Taco. This is clearly proof that the premise of intelligent design is a crock of crap and Darwin’s theory of evolution is spot on. Highly evolved tacos – yum.

 

And then this little gem – a sign that prohibits one from walking about on the other side of the fence. Good idea as beyond the greenery is a cliff that drops into the downstream side of a series of rapids.

 

The posted anglo fine is $100.00 and for franco types it’s $100 even – don’t the froggies have any cents? It’s a pun damnit Janet…. Okay – no more nonsense.

Zoom zoom zoom

100 kmh is the posted speed limit on the Ontario 400 series of highways – you’d never know that as it’s hard to read the signs when you’re travelling at the speed of light just to keep up with the traffic in the slow lane.

That’s a bit of an exaggeration¹.

Cars are actually whizzing past me, riding my bumper and gesturing in rather interesting manners. I put up with this for about 73 kilometres and then smoosh my foot down while at the same time trying to repony my pony that is all over the place as my Nike hat blew off in the wind.

The van accelerates to 140 kmh and I put some distance between my rear bumper and the lunatic behind me. Great plan but now I have to pull into the far left lane to avoid running into tractor trailers, motor homes and the nice OPP cruiser that is now in front of me. Oops. The officer in the cruiser does not seem at all perturbed by my speed – neither do the cops stopped between the divided sections of the highway. Perhaps it’s my wild gestures as I try to keep my hair out of my eyes, maybe the BC plates that still adorn the van or maybe the pink Tazer that I’m pointing out the window at the driver of a Honda who flipped me the bird.

 

Now you might ask why a sweet thing like me would own and carry a Tazer in her purse. Good ahead – I did not sleep well last night, I forgot my holy trinity of hormonal tranquility and I might as well taze you before the rounds expire.

Back to the highway.

I figure out that the OPP are not interested in the speed that Space Captain Carly is rocketing down the highway so I decide to book it for Ottawa, thus lessening the amount of time that I’m exposed to the loonies on the highway.

Hand drawn paper maps are flying all over the place as I try to keep an eye on the road, my GPS and talk on the cell phone at the same time as I look for highway 147 which is a frigging left turn off of the highway. Anyhow I made it to Ottawa safely.

[1] I better clarify to keep YKW from jumping up and proclaiming that there is a problem in the math and probability departments. If we take the speed of light to be 186,000 miles per second then the exaggerated amount is actually 299,792,458 – 140*60*60 meters per second, which in fact approaches the sped of light. In simple terms the van might as well not be moving at all – can I borrow a box of artistic licence please?

Social crap

Somedays I wonder why I bother posting anything on FaceBook or LiveJournal at all -  they both annoy the hell out of me.

I primarily write on my WordPress account – that’s where you’ll find my heavy duty, no holds barred for better or for worse this is the real me baby stuff.

Whew.

If it was not for a masochistic need for validation I’d chuck FB and LJ and only allow the WordPress viewers to read what I have to say. The problem with this is that LJ and FB are visible to different groups of people, as is my primary blog. Conundrum time, so let’s take a look at what peeves me. My blog so my vote is all that counts (remember that I said that…)

People who use my entries as a focal point for their own messages piss me off, as do those who try to sneak in a snark aimed at other people. I spend a fair bit of bit of time approving LJ and FB comments as neither allows for intelligent automated comment approval. WordPress on the other hand, makes it very easy to let comments be screened by author, subject or general forms of content.

I also find that as WordPress is not dependant on the concept of “friends” and therefore not a popularity contest, people are able to read my words in a rather anonymous fashion and reply only when they have something to say that is truly germane to what I wrote.

Anyhow – I may just stop posting and writing anywhere except my blog – no more comments in response to a request for information, no more good natured gibes. It’s just not worth it. That would be a sad day.

Celebration in Hull

I caught the free concert tonight with Shania and her brother TooToo – great show in celbration of 400 years of Quebecois with what would later become Canada. Happy Friday

Geekery on the road

I have a GPS mounted on my trusty mountain bike (also known as my leg leg whacker upper) and I do find it quite handy. Really – I can tell how fast I’m going, how far I have gone and how long it took me to do it, which are important things to know if you’re serious about completing a triathlon in decent time. I also get a moving map that shows where I am, which is very handy as I still don’t know the local streets that well. You have to understand that local here means within a hundred kilometers.

Anyhow – while I have figured out how to get between Toronto, Ottawa and Montreal, I’m really boned when it comes to driving around trying to find something within the area, such as Rockland in Ottawa or KItchener (somewhere sort of to the west of Toronro).

To my rescue comes the miracle of modern driving, the car GPS.

This little device is loaded with maps and software that allow me select a destination and then be shown a series of possible ways to get there – fastest, shortest, back roads or scenic. Gas stations and pee breaks are shown, as are shopping, parks and other cool things.

Turn by turn directions delivered by my choice of robotic voice as an accurate yet somewhat childish cartoon type map changes to show what’s ahead of me. “Turn left onto highway 416 in one kilometer”. Cool.

There’s quite a choice of GPS models so I take what you might consider to be the easy way out and purchase them all¹. Now the window is all pimped out with GPS units of different sizes and shapes but I am no longer afraid to venture to a small town or obscure location. Beware motorists – Carly can get there but she can’t see over the GPS units, they draw so much current that the windshield wipers are feeble at best and the headlights are barely visible.

Oh well, at least I’m cool.

My name is Carly. I’m a geek.

[1] Look -  you’d ask for a second opinion if a doctor told you that your left antler was articulated – right? Besides, a vehicle is an extension of the purse which often holds lipstick and most of us have at least 6 colours of lipstick. Simple…

Alone

This is the first night that I have spent alone in the house – I’ve been alone before by nature of work and by choice but not here in a house that feels so alien with just the cat and I.

I don’t like it one bit.

I especially don’t like it as it gives me way too much time to reflect on how alone I feel in terms of health care, both mental and physical. That sucks, the feeling that nobody understands, nobody cares, that I’m just one more burden of a system that is stretched to the breaking point. Here’s some news for you doc – so are some of your patients.

So it’s the kitty and Carly tonight – the kitty is quite content to laze about and occasionally dash about the house, roaring upstairs to complete some mission that only a cat can appreciate.

I could go downtown and watch a movie – there’s plenty playing that I’d like to see bit I’d still be alone abeit in a room full of people. A room full of people that came with someone else, gee, that’s a cheerful thought.

A bit of Discovery Channel, another beer and then pop a few too many sleeping pills to help me drift off into a disturbed sleep that will leave me exhausted. Self dosage of prescription medication is not a smart thing to do – I know better yet here I am needing more and more to get me to sleep, more and more to keep me going in throughout the day.

I understand what you went through now – I’m sorry for not being more understanding, more supportive, less judgemental. It’s not just the pills…

Wake up in the morning, shower, drag my ass up to see a shrink about my current pill popping activities that are endangering my liver – lectures be damned, I need a magic bullet at this point to help me break free of this cycle from hell.

Is this some kind of cruel metamorphosis? A sick form of punishment?

I don’t know. At least I’m learning not to judge, or at least to be compassionate when I judge.

Anyhow.

Bad kitty

Geekery

I need one...

The Hacked! USB Drive is actually a 2GB flash drive that just looks like a frayed USB cable. ZOMG, people will look at that and be so confused

The only thing that could make it better is if, instead of a frayed USB cable, it was a real severed arm complete with tattoos and 4GB of storage.

Imagine the looks you’d get with that hanging out the side of your laptop!

Looks like “OMG, I’m calling the police!” and “bitchin’ ink.” Or, from the zombies, “I want a byte.”

Male geek culture

ZDnet brings this little gem:

The inventor of the world wide web, Sir Tim Berners-Lee, has called for an end to the “stupid” male geek culture that disregards the work of capable female engineers, and puts others off entering the profession.

Berners-Lee said that a culture that avoided alienating women would attract more female programmers, which could lead to greater harmony of systems design. “If there were more women involved we could move towards interoperability. We have to change at every level,” he said.

According to Berners-Lee, a culture exists where women can be put off a career in technology both by “stupid” behaviour by some male “geeks”, and by the reactions of other women.

“It’s a complex problem — we find bias against women by women. There are bits of male geek culture and engineer culture that are stupid. They should realise that they could be alienating people who are smarter and better engineers,” said Berners-Lee.

Engineering research facilities that interview candidates based only on how many papers they have had published also risk adding to the problem, according to Berners-Lee, because of an apparent in-built bias against women.

One academic went through a sex change, submitted the same papers under both identities, and found that papers were accepted from a man but were rejected when they came from a woman, said the web inventor. This bias is unaccountable, but adds to institutional bias, he said.