The Ontario government proudly proclaims that I may without fear of prosecution expose my northern hemisphere in public places such as parks – in fact, they created an entire ministry to ensure that our natural resources are ministered by a government agency. Hmmm.

While my boobs are 100% natural and I applaud the recognition that it certainly should not be illegal for a woman’s boobs to be exposed, I have to draw the line at mine being considered a natural resource – heck , I can take care of them quite nicely myself without assistance, advice or a mandate from the Minister of Natural Resources.

I’m not about to peel off my top at the beach and let the girls feel the cooling breeze – no, no, no – the twins are going to play peek-a-boo in a titillating manner.

As for my bottoms, well, they will stay on my bottom regardless of this sign!